I dream a constant dream every night. I wake up with an uneasy feeling each morning. I go to work with that feeling. I come back home, with it. I let it rest once in a while, but whenever it finds me alone, it latches on.
I watched Seven Years in Tibet day before, in it, Harrer tells Dalai Lama (in a different context, that seemed recognisable. I’m paraphrasing) “He’s always there, when I was on my way to Tibet, he was here. When I came to this town, he was here. As I sit next to you and speak, he’s here, right next to me.”
In my case, every emotion I feel, I can best express through a film.
Today, as I woke up feeling uneasy, I stepped out of my body and looked at myself. I comforted myself and became my own Eric Cantona.
My sister and I were texting, I told her, I think only a film could cheer me up now. And I put on this beauty. I had absolutely no idea that it just wouldn’t cheer me up but brace me and give me strength.
My Eric Cantona was watching over me!
I resonated more with Lily (Eric Bishop’s wife). She loved him to pieces, as she rightfully tells him 30 years after he abandoned her. Eric has lived in her afterglow since then, however, he doesn’t glow with joy but sulks with guilt. I didn’t know whom to feel sorry for. I didn’t know how this film found me at this very moment, when I needed it the most.
He suffers, but Eric’s Eric forces him to get a grip! What a man! Comes alive when the senses go out, makes Eric be his own person first.
At first, I thought, Looking for Eric would end up being a love story. But I’m delighted to be proven wrong, it isn’t just a love story, it’s a story about victory, about finding ones own self on the experiential level.
“Without danger, we cannot get beyond danger.”
Thank you, Cinema. I’ve found my answers.